I've learned everything I need to know in life from boardgames. I've learned from boardgames that sometimes going directly to jail and staying there is smart because I can avoid paying rent. I've learned from boardgames that conquering Mongolia is the key to world domination and that the Ukraine is weak; it's a sitting duck. I've also learned that in life it's best to be greedy like a hungry hungry hippo. Because the one with the most marbles always wins. Well today, I've applied the teachings, tactics and philosophies of the game Taboo in my life. For those who don't know what this game is, it's a game where you pick a card and try to get your teammates to guess the word. Simple enough right? Oh, but wait. Each card also has forbidden (hence, taboo) words listed which may not be spoken. Fun, thy name is Hasbro. So today at work I was given a simple creative brief. One of our clients is running some advertising during the SuperBowl. The goal is to attract consumers to come watch the SuperBowl at their establishment. Simple enough right? Oh, but wait. I've been told by the geniuses of our marketing team that I am not allowed to use the words SuperBowl, Super Sunday, Indianapolis Colts, Chicago Bears, NFL or use National or Football or League in the same sentence because of trademark infringements. Essentially I have to let people know that there's a football finals happening but I can't tell them what it's called or what league it's for or who's playing. I might as well not tell them what sport, what day, or what time it's happening at either.
I warned the marketers that our client will come across as cheap and second rate. Our client is a multi-million dollar establishment with a reputation and a brand to uphold. Our marketing team said I was being a drama queen and that I was stupid. To which I replied, "No, you're stupid, Stupids". Come watch "The SuperBowl", February 4th is what the message should have been. With the (above mentioned) conditions and restrictions I was given, here's what I wrote for the client. It nearly got me fired...again.
Come watch "The Professional League of American Pigskin Finals!", February 4th. Come watch "The Annual Extravaganza Bonanza Football-o-Rama!", February 4th. Come watch "The Grand Championship and Conclusion Match! The Chicago Footballers versus the Indianapolis Football Squad", February 4th. Come watch the "What Americans love most besides porno and crack; Finals"!, February 4th. Come watch "The Big Game with all those funny commercials and the big halftime show, you the know the one, come on just guess ......... guess! ", February 4th. With that said, I challenge anyone to a game of Taboo. Tonight. I got a hundy in my wallet that says I'll win. | 
